THE WALK....

I was sitting ideally on my computer one evening trying to think of something, something to fill in my deserted blog. finally I gave up and started an old Woody Alan movie, a dull ending to an unusually beautiful and cloudy day. It had rained after a long dry spell. The air was filled with all those earthly smells you get when it rains for the first time. It was like one of those nice lazy days when taking a piss is the only manual labor you do. Everything seemed perfectly calm and relaxed.
then suddenly the lights went out.

If someone ever made a list of the most disgusting things that can happen on a beautiful Friday evening, power cut would have to be on the top. Not withstanding the tyranny and cruelty of the power dep’t, I decided to keep myself entertained. Determined, I grabbed my ipod and marched out of the hostel. It was pitch dark. I started walking and didn’t pay much attention to anything going around. sweet pink floyd played in my ears. everything was washed clean by the afternoon rains. Blurry shadows formed by a mild moon made patterns on the road. a cool wind rushed past and sprinkled water from the trees above. Leaves swayed in the breeze like there was no tomorrow. Felt like everything was flowing in a rhythm, everything was dancing to the tunes in my ears. Felt like I had the control to everything. I matched my footsteps to the tune and kept on walking. closed my eyes to enhance the effect. my feet grew numb, they had a mind of their own now. Mine was wandering, where, I didn’t know, didn’t care. I was almost getting high. Then it started to drizzle, tiny droplets covered my face. If I would have been a hopeless romantic I would have written some poems right there, “for the love of my life”.

I started imagining things, Imagined that I was actually walking through a thick jungle, with snakes all around. It was dark and I couldn’t see the people who walked passed. So I imagined them to be pretty girls in sexy outfits. Smiling at this thought I kept gliding down the road, respecting the rhythm as I walked. Then as cruelly as it had gone, it came back. These things called street lights arrogantly smiled from above as my eyes struggled to get used to the light. The trance was broken, nothing rhymed anymore. The shadows were sharp and left little to imagination. The people who walked past were not pretty girls, and the thick jungle was just a few lonely trees standing besides cold structures. I completed my journey back with a hope that it will all come back, again. I tried desperately to find it, but no use. It had passed away, literally

Then I started making comparisons, something I do after every stupid experience. This time my victim was time itself. So I wondered how sometimes in life, time catches up to our rhythm, follows our every move, how everything falls into place and feels like it was supposed to be that way. Or how some other times when we are the ones running to catch the rhythm, the rhythm of everything, the control of everything.

Mans Greatest Invention......GoD

STATUATORY WARNING: If you are a strong believer of god then this post can seriously offend you. Feel free to ridicule it anytime.

I live in the city of gods, Varanasi. Here, you can find him in every corner giving hope to some, making someone rich, gifting baby boys to the expecting ones, or simply, giving meaning to the lives of the thousands of foreigners who come here every week.

Religion gives identity to this country. We are known to invent it and follow it regouresly. Our world famous culture and traditions originated from it. we are what we are because of our beliefs, belief in god, belief that whatever our ancestors believed in was right. The whole concept of god and religion was invented when we decided to give up on our search for answers, answers to our existence, purpose on this planet. We decided that if we cannot explain them, then let’s believe that there is someone who can and if we believed in him, strongly, may be one day he will let us into those secrets. The rational and logical explanation of everything gets too obvious and comfortable for us. We needed something to satisfy our thirst for the fairytale fantasies, with unexplained mysteries and magic, hence were born the Ramayanas, the Mahabharatas, the bibles and Korans. Whenever anything good happens in our lives we relate it to our right doings, to explain the calamities and catastrophes we take help from the devil. the usual feel good factor involved with helping someone just isn’t enough anymore, we need motivation, some concrete assurance that good done will be accounted for and reciprocated with good. So now guess who became the accountant.

It’s like a delusion which we created to bring the people together, make them give up alcohol and non-veg, strengthen the system of families and values, give hope and save them from depression and hopelessness. Throw in some heaven and hell and scare the society into order. Throw in some marriage and obtain better governed child upbringing and happy joint families. It provided employment to many, with all the enormous temples to build and thousands of lines of religious text to read.

However the best thing about religion is that most of it is based on logic. For example, solar eclipse is considered as a bad omen in many religions and hence the superstition says that, “do not go out of your house and never ever look at it or bad things will happen to you”. We obviously do not stare at it because of the harmful infrared rays during that time. But whatever be accepted, it has saved many from losing their eyesight.

This concept of religion works and India is the biggest proof of that. But for it to work properly we need to stay in that delusion long enough, believe in it to such an extent that it comes close to reality. Now science can ruin that, with all its logic and reasoning, it’s a tough fight. In India to do that is very difficult but in the US it has adversely affected their religion business and created messed up societies. So much so that many feel the need to come here and experiment with our thing. It is like that Matrix movie, where people were made to live and believe in a virtual world to manage and control them. A beautiful delusion. Then some felt the need to break out of it and face the reality….. Some couldn’t stand it and felt that it would have been better to live with the delusion. The truth is the reality does us no good. It may give a temporary feeling of superiority over the rest but eventually we will realize that the bubble life is actually better. science alone cannot satisfy, at least not like religion and god.

So now this has given rise to the present societies where the fanatics have been drastically reduced and replaced by sensible and god fearing people. Who follow religion, but are ready to accept that there is a world beyond this delusion. They have accepted the good (or rather gods)of both worlds. Obviously there are many side effects of GOD too. It’s like with toys, when children have different ones they will want to compare them and fight over it. But considering the many helpful advantages I can safely conclude that GOD has indeed been Mans greatest invention. Religion Rocks.

Intellectual Wannabes

like every thing else in this country our film Industry is diverse. And it is actually required when you have such a diverse audience, with different preferences. But the recent success of the critically ridiculed Kambakth Ishk has really made me think. Are we really comfortable to compromise our sensibilities, just for some cheap laughs. ofcourse there is also the paia wasool factor involved, you don't want to spend 200 rs for 2 hrs and not even get to laugh. This dangerous outlook of the audience has boosted the confidence of some creatively impaired film makers to make more moves. but the sad part is that even talented ones want to get a piece of it.

its a vicious cycle. stupid films make more money which is used to make even more stupid films, with bigger budget. its like the situation with Bihar and Lalu, one is the reason for another. It is not like we have any scarcity of talented film makers, so I don't understand the reason why our filmmakers are incapable of making sensible films is it just the risky tastes of the Indian audience or simply the lack of creativity. The one very useful thing I've learned while doing theater is that when it comes to exploiting human emotions, sadness is the easiest (as compared to fear or humor or thrill). the entire soup opera Industry is based on this formula. all Indian families like to curl up in the evening and shed tears for the poor stereotype tormented bahus and betis. the audience never gets tired of the them. some people thought that it wasn't enough so they showered us with reality shows having participants with leaky tear glands.

Then there are the "inspired" types, these are the ones that make me really angry, when they manipulate and mutilate the classic Hollywood stuff and and reduce it to their retarded perceptions. its a big insult to the "actual" film makers.
and when it comes to actors the one thing I've notice about Hollywood is that most of the acclaimed ones are generally not of the typical outrageously handsome types that we find here, take for example Tom Hanks, Russel Crowe, Matt Damon, kevin spacey. a proof that talent is preferred over looks. or rather talent is accepted to looks.
generally the opening day collections are governed by the type of publicity done and hype involved, this depends on the good will of the director or the actor involved. In Bollywood thats all that we depend upon. a movie hardly survives through the opening week unless it has Ghajni type publicity involved.

Although There are some film makers whose work I really wait for like Kabir Khan, Imtiaz ali, Madhur Bhandarkar, Raj kumar Hirani, V. Bhradwaj, its obvious that when it comes to films our taste buds are different to theirs. we like our movies with exaggerations and random coincidences, we like to leave reality to the real world and let fantasies take center stage. but the recent change in trend of these masala movie makers going for serious and sensitive topics can be dangerous. take for example the recent released "New York". it has gone too far with the whole American retaliation to 9/11 thing, showing an innocent Muslim turning to terrorism and almost blowing up the FBI headquarters. its true that it may not have made the same money had it lacked the senseless action. but it is disappointing to see that good film makers are ready to sacrifice their quality to satisfy the appetite of the curry loving junta.

No more compromiseS

the reality had finally settled in, some one changed the rules while we were sleeping, the religious fanatics feel their world has been polluted....
yes.. the gays are coming.. leaving their closets behind, and country is standing with their mouths wide open... in disbelief... No one can imagine such a thing in a land that gives meaning to the word 'conservative'. Some news even claimed that the judge who passed the order is himself a gay. of course its that stupid American way of life, letting some one be who he/she is, not compromising to social pressure, not fueling prejudices, how can we do something like that.

Obviously there are many who think the decision is wrong and that it should be debated upon because its "unnatural" , first of all who gave you the right to decide whats unnatural, just because it makes you feel uncomfortable, or because you can not explain it to your kids. Anything involving adults and consent should not involve law. the 150 year old section 377 of IPC has been amended to change the definition of "unnatural" and nothing else. The section was included to check child abuses (also animal abuses), which it still does so it isn't effecting the society in any way other than making it more liberal and humane, (how cruel huh!).

How much ever we may like to smug at the American culture (or the lack of it) the truth is our thing involves a lot of compromises and tolerances. If you think of it, its the very basis of our culture. From arranged marriages to intercaste marriages, from dowry to sati you'll find it every where.

May be the reason there are so many gays in America is not because of their crippled culture. rather than compromising and tolerating the societies natural ways they decide to live the way they are or want to be. Now if the same is happening in our country then the only feeling that we should be having is that of pride coz we've finally grown up. for all those who haven't, keep compromising.

Blindness........

every day at around 5:45 pm, I catch a train home from Chinchwad Station, its a place in Pune where I've been doing my summer training for the past one and a half months. There, at the foot of the bridge, sits a small weighing machine, the ones you find on the platforms, but in place of all the flashy lights and the colorful graphics you'll find an old blind man trying to make a living. Every time he hears some people rush past him he shouts out "wajan kara" (thats marathi for check your weight) in a very rhythmic increasing tone. The weighing machine is tied to his toe, cant trust the world. he makes 1 rupee for every weight check, not much, but he is earning a dignified living, something far more expensive. Rather than begging he decided to do something.
sadly I never once saw his machine occupied.

This scene had become a daily routine for me . So I decided that on the last day of my training I will check my weight, even if it scared me. The last day arrived, However as I reached the station I saw him surrounded with people. Happy and content to see this I went to the platform with a smile. the train was 10 mins late (as usual).
While I was sitting there planing my next few days at home before college, a middle aged blind lady came to the platform. if it weren't for the red taped stick you wouldn't recognize that. I had seen her around a couple of times before. I think she worked there.
lets call her Hope.

so Hope kept walking in careful and confident strides, with her stick dancing in different directions, hitting objects, trying to make sense of her surroundings. She found a small bench like thing and tried to sit on it. It was actually a cement structure with sand and rubble every where. realizing this, Hope immediately got up and dusted her sari with force.
Her being blind did not compromise her right to a dignified living. so Hope started the search again. She came across a vase and tried to sit, but instantly recognized that plants and mud are not supposed to be a part of a 'dignified' bench.
Still determined she continued her expedition.

Then suddenly she changed course and started heading towards the end of the platform. the local was about to arrive on that track in a few minutes. All this while I was observing the scene from a distance thinking that some one will get up to help her, save her from falling, getting killed.... but none did. Hope got dangerously close to the edge and still people sitting only a few feet from her chose to comfortably ignore everything.

I couldn't see it any more so I ran up to her, grabbed her hand and took her to a nearby bench.
And then followed the stares, I could translate some of them "So you think you are too kind and smart huh? ..... what are you trying to prove kid... running like this....that we don't care.... I was just about to get up before you rushed in". I did get a few smiles though. it all felt like a scene from some Hindi movie. I enjoyed my few minutes of glory till the train arrived. I had left the lady on a bench crowded by other women passengers, hoping that they would help her get on the train.

The train arrived, I climbed and glanced back at the crowd.... a cocktail of immense rage and guilt overpowered me, she was still trying to find her way to the boogie. The other female passengers had abandoned her to catch the last few empty seats. Hope was now trying desperately to get a hold of someone, anyone, who could help her into the train. But all she got were nudges and desperate pushes. Finally she caught hold of a college girls bag and started following it, hoping that it would lead her in. But eventually she realized that the bag was running away from the train... the girl was trying to get to her boy friend who had come there to pick her. It was too late the train started moving and she couldn't climb, I shouted to a few people to help her, but no use.

I sat down with heavy heart, the guilt started to sulk in, I could have helped her, I could have gone home in the next train. its easy for me. but just imagine how many attempts she has to make to reach home every day, avoiding the casual brush with death.

You see Blind people go out into the world with this immense faith in humanity... a brand new hope..... everyday, that someone will be there to help them, today, some one will not let them fall off the platform, today, she will reach home on time...and alive..... today, the preachers of values and humanity to the world, will practice it too....
Thinking that, so what if we cant see, there are others who can.... who would not like to start their day with the visuals of blood and flesh on the tracks... they would save me, they care for their 'day'. all of them, working in their BIG I T companies wearing fancy I cards, listing to their I pods.....living in their sweet little I worlds. they wouldn't let anyone disturb it.

MY STAND ON: the OZ attacks

There has been a lot of hype about the recent oz attacks on the Indian students, the so called racist attacks. People here as usual have started questioning their morals and make misleading films on the same, but there is something quite not right with this.

first of all Let me start by saying that I, as an Indian, am totally appalled by the attacks on the Indian students in Australia, but I don’t think they can be termed as racist attacks. Racism is just an outcome of the other obvious anger the Australians have, the anger of some foreign national coming to their country and taking away their jobs. We should not forget that in the end it is their country, they pay taxes to live there. And anyways, we should be the last people to be offended by it, coz aren’t we doing the same thing in our country. Aren’t the Maharashtrians kicking out the north Indians for the same reasons?

And as far as racism is considered, there is something I need to say.
I have this theory on people, to analyze the mentality and mindset of a community, you should see the types of commercials that go around. Coz in the end these commercials are what influences them, to buy things and spend their hard earned money. So what type of commercials do we find in India.....…
Here is an example of a commercial currently being aired on the television

“He's the rugged type, with sculpted arm muscles. He rides a
motorcycle and wears a trendy tank top, wraparound sunglasses and
slicked-back hair. There's only one problem: His skin color dark. His
fair-skinned love interest won't even accept his offer of a rose. But
in this ad, the protagonist is able to buy a magic cream that will
change his status in life, turning his brown skin several shades
lighter and causing his beloved to swoon”.

The commercial of a well known fairness product (fair and handsome or something)
And not just fairness creams, these ads sell fruit juices to cement portraying exceedingly fair models and actors. From Bollywood to Tollywood (thats south Indian by the way) every where we have (need) "fair people". why this obsession with fairness. we are not supposed to be that fair, we are known for our brown color. so if we need to change it so desperately (coz fairness creams for guys is the limits), that means we must be very insecure of our dark complection
and if that is the case then how can we blame someone for discrimination?

a very shocking fact I recently found out was that most of the students who go there don't do so with the intension of obtaining quality education, rather to get a shot at getting a permanent resident ship. I thing it is nothing more than ironic that the country they so desperately want to leave behind has become the reason for their apathy.

As far as education is concerned, India has a fairly decent education system, from IITs to IIMs to AIIMS to NITs to a lot of good collages all of which have a very transparent and merit based selection procedure. Any hardworking and deserving student can get in to them and obtain world class education. I did…..
if education was really the reason they would have gone to the American universities or even European. Given the GRE or GMAT and gotten a good scholarship too, then why Australia.

so i don't think Indians have the moral high ground in this case. But as usual our Indian tendency to dramatize every thing and our birthright to teach the world some values and culture, will not allow us to let it be treated as anything more than sensible and rational anger.